Hillsong- The Greatness of Our God
Give me grace to see beyond this moment here. To believe that there is nothing left to fear. That You alone are high above it all. For You my God are greater still.
And there is nothing that can ever separate us. There is nothing that can ever separate us from Your love. No life, no death, of this I am convinced. You my God are greater still.
Baby Hope passed away last night. It's so strange to not have her here. I miss her so much!
Most of Friday and all of Saturday I noticed that Hope wasn't waking up much. She was so tired and even when it was time to feed her, I couldn't get her to awaken enough to eat much. I tried to chalk it up to newborn stuff or a growth spurt but inside I knew this wasn't good. I picked her up just a little after 11pm to try to feed her another bottle. We cuddled a bit, then I noticed she wasn't breathing anymore. She never struggled, she just gradually stopped breathing. My heart broke instantly and is breaking now even as I write this. Josh and I both started crying immediately and we both knew she was gone. So hard to go through something like that but I want to tell you the most amazing part. God has walked with us through every single step and emotion from the very beginning. I had some fears in my head about what it might be like when and if she passed away but had never really voiced them. God knew. He took care of all the details. Taylor and Macy were asleep in bed and that was my biggest fear was that they would be there when Hope passed away. God knew. I was also scared that she would be in pain or struggle to breathe. She wasn't in pain and didn't struggle! God knew. :) How great is He? SO GREAT!
It was a long, rough night working through a flood of emotions. Major sadness, then a wave a gratefulness for the two weeks we had with her. Ups and downs all night long. I finally was able to sleep and when I woke up had an overwhelming sense of peace. The peace that passes understanding. Seriously, I have had more than my share of that amazing peace in my lifetime so far. I am soooo thankful for that. I woke up with a smile knowing that God's will and plan for Hope had been accomplished. She has touched more lives than we'll ever know. And I can't even begin to describe the way God used her in our own lives to grow our faith and stretch us to new levels with Him. To God be the glory for His great works. He is worthy of His glory!
I love baby Hope so much. The sense of loss is so deep but it is paralleled with so much joy for the time we had with her. Three hours turned into two weeks. Praise God! His love for us has been so evident over these past few months. He has shown us in so many ways including all the love and support showered on us by everyone. Please know that we are grateful!
A celebration of Hope's life will be held at Lenexa Baptist Church on Wed., Aug. 18th, 2010 at 11:00am.
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I love you Miss Jamie. We've been quietly keeping posted about Hope since we found out she was going to have trouble. We've prayed for you often. I am very sorry for your loss. I am also grateful that you know who Jesus is in this time of pain. He made her and loves her as deeply as He loves all of us. It has been a blessing to see Him work in your lives and do wonders with Hope's little life. We will continue to pray for you.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Tiffany Nelson
Prayers for you, Josh and the children. I offer to you Psalm 139 1-18 with special attention to verses 13-16 as you think about Hope. I was just introduced to a woman who lost her child at birth-never getting to blessing to see him open his eyes and now a yr later struggles as she is expecting again. She has hope but does not seem to rest in it. Our faith in Christ does not keep us from the emotions and pain associated with the loss of a child but gives us a place to cling as we weep. And an ever grateful peace knowing that our Heavenly Father now holds our precious ones in HIS arms and we will one day join them there. God bless you and your family.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss; thank you for sharing Hope's life (and your faith!) with all of us strangers out here, reading along. Know our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. <3
ReplyDeleteDear Jamie and Josh,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this road with everyone who wanted to walk along with you. While I know your journey isn't complete, I am grateful to a God who walks beside you every step, allowing you the opportunity to not just give birth to Hope but to also get to know her. She is one lucky gal to have you as her parents and to now sit in Jesus' lap - what a Great God we serve.
Love and care,
Jeanne Hultgren
Hi Jamie...we are praying for you and your family...I just read your blog...what an amazing faith you and your family have...How GREAT is our God :)
ReplyDeleteLove,
Paula Goforth
I grew up with the Reasons and have been keeping up with updates that Lydia, Leah, and Marsha have posted. Thank you for sharing - your blog has been such a great testimony and encouragement to me and my faith has been increased. I've been praying for you guys since I learned about Hope and will continue to do so. ~Coral Park~
ReplyDeleteHow I wish I was there with you friend! God was and is glorified through this!
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