Ready for Hope

Ok ok... I know I haven't updated in a while and I AM SORRY! I have been meaning to but have just not gotten around to it. I am updating now because I just got home from my Dr's appointment. I wrote last time about how much extra fluid I have. Well at my last appointment (2 weeks ago) I was 32 1/2 weeks and measuring 36... NOW, ok this is sooo unreal, I am 34 1/2 weeks and measuring umm 44 weeks. Yep, that's not a typo!! 44 WEEKS! So glad it's not just in my head how big I am. :) I feel stretched to the limit and like someone is sitting on my stomach all the time. Pretty uncomfortable but as always, I'll be fine. So, basically no one expects me to make it until the end of Aug. Hope could be here at anytime! The unknown is so hard for me but it also grows my dependence on God and His plan. It's so out of my control and as hard as it is to say, it's better that way!

We are feeling ready and prepared (as much as possible). We still don't know what God has in store for us and for our sweet baby but we do know He is with us through it all. How can we not be ok knowing that? Last week Josh and I were able to take a day (thanks to Aunt Lydia for keeping the kids!) and get some preparations done. We met with a funeral home and got all the plans arranged for if Hope passes away. We keep saying we are making plans "just in case". It feels so good though to have a plan in place. That way the decisions won't have to be made later when we are exhausted physically and emotionally. God is so good and such a provider. Even walking through this tough journey, every step of the way has been paved for us. The support and love we receive on a DAILY basis from our friends, family and church family... is... the words just aren't coming to me. It's beyond what we could ever hope for or ask for. So encouraging, uplifting, inspiring and I believe God honoring. Thank you to everyone who takes the time pray for us and for those who take the time to write me little messages and notes. It's humbling to be on the receiving end of all this when I am so used to being the one on the giving end. This has opened my eyes though to what it means to be selfless. I see that example in so many of you!

I must be crazy posting a picture of me this huge but... here is what 44 weeks looks like on me!

32 Weeks

It was so good to see Baby Hope again last Friday during the sonogram. She has grown so much! Her diagnosis is even more evident now that she has gotten bigger. Her chest cavity and rib cage are so tiny compared to what is average. Her heart was taking up the majority of the chest space when it should have only been taking up 1/3. It's easier to see now how Hope might have trouble breathing once she comes out. Before, we believed the Dr's and the diagnosis but it was hard to see anything visibly wrong other then her little arms and legs. Her little head is so perfectly round though and she still has the cutest little cheeks and chin. We didn't get any good facial pictures this time around but some great hand and feet shots. :) God has formed her so wonderfully to His glory.

I do have quite a bit of excess amniotic fluid. I was almost sure I did before I even went in for the sonogram... and if you've seen me and my belly lately it's not hard to see why haha! My belly is HUGE and it sticks straight out in front of me. It's hard as a rock most of the time. It's definitely making it much tougher to get around and to pick up after two toddlers (and a husband). ;) With extra fluid there comes the risk of early labor. That combined with the contractions I have here and there and the Thanatophoric Dysplasia, I think Baby Hope is coming sooner than we think!