Growing

Summer is here! I love the "non-structered" feel of summer. It fits my personality so well. :) We're filling our time with playing in the sprinklers, baking, getting to know our neighbors, browsing garage sales, and spending time with family and friends. Taylor is 5 1/2 and preparing for Kindergarten in the fall. Macy turned 4 in May and Logan is 5 Months old today! The kids are a blast and such a joy.

God is still graciously teaching me about Himself and growing me. Through Hope's life and death, I experienced first hand what it means to suffer and how to glorify God through challenging and heartbreaking circumstances. BUT I am still learning and sometimes I fail. Now God is teaching me through others as I see them go through issues. People are always wondering "why?" I am so glad to know that suffering is not without a purpose. Suffering is not easy but it is so worth it. Back in April we attended a simulcast for Secret Church that was titled "The Cross and Suffering". I have been wanting to share some of the incredible truths that stuck out to me. It's crucial that as we suffer (because we all will at some point!) that we have a deep understanding of who God is. Even though I already knew that my suffering was for a purpose here are some points that put it into words for me, it's worth it:

• To experience the sufficiency of Christ in our weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)
• To share the sufferings of Christ on this earth. (Philippians 3:10-11)
• To show the supremacy of Christ to all nations. (Matthew 24:9-14)
• To experience the satisfaction of Christ for all eternity. 

2 Corinthians 4:16-18- So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to things that are seen but to things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

I love that!! Isn't that so great? It puts our focus off of ourselves and any temporary trials we may have and onto eternity. Here is a quote that stuck out to me as well "Do we find God useful for our circumstances, or do we find Him glorious regardless of circumstances?" 

My confidence in God's goodness and love has grown tremendously since August 1, 2010. We have been through so much change and through it all God has been faithful. There is more change to come....


I am bursting with excitement that God is leading Josh and I to fulfill something that has been on our hearts since we got married. We are prayerfully and joyfully beginning the adoption process! Again God is leading me through a journey where I must fully rely on Him and find Him sufficient. We are excited to see how God is going to add to our family and pray that HE will be glorified above all! I will update you soon. :)

Changes

Where do I start...

I haven't blogged for months! Not because I haven't wanted to or because I've had nothing to write but just because...

I have written MANY blog posts in my head haha, but they've never actually made it to the blog. I know some of you can relate. So here I go, an attempt to catch you up on our life. :)

Many changes have come our way. Some hard, some easy but all good. Actually, I would say pretty much every part of our lives have changed since I last wrote! Our family has grown- we now have baby Logan to love on. Logan Daniel Reasons was born on January 11th, 2012. He weighed in at 8 lbs. and 2 oz. and was 19 inches of sweetness.

Of course being at the same hospital where we delivered and spent our first couple of days with Hope, brought back many incredible memories. Not to mention that we had some of the same nurses (Leah and Kristin- love them!), and the same room... can you believe that?! I actually got a little teary when we got checked into our delivery room and I saw the room number. God was gracious though to give me a birthing experience with Logan that was all it's own. It will have it's own memories and beautiful moments. The part that saddens me though is that Hope now has a sibling that won't know her. She is still such a big part of our lives and Taylor and Macy talk about her so much still. So I know that Logan will know of her through our pictures, stories and conversations. I have lost count of how many times Macy has asked me if we get to keep Logan. Kinda breaks my heart. I never make promises but tell her that just like with Hope's life, we trust God and His plan.

Another major change for us has been where we go to church. After 9 years of living, loving and serving with friends and family at Lenexa Baptist Church we followed God's calling to be a part of a new church plant. The church plant is here where we live in Overland Park. It was more of an adjustment than I anticipated but God is honoring our obedience to Him. Josh and I are being stretched and challenged in new ways and are very excited to be a part of the gospel centered Cross Fellowship Church. http://www.brookhills.org/global/church_planting/kansas_city/index.html

The last BIG change for our family is where we live! We put our house on the market and it sold in 11 days. Wow! Then through circumstances that reminded us that God is in control, we were able to buy another house that gives us room to grow. :) I love this house! There is alot of work and updating to be done but I have a super handy husband who can handle it and will actually enjoy it.

Home Sweet Home

I was just reminded last week of something important, so I will leave you with this, it's how I want to live my life-

Don't take life for granted! Use EVERY day, situation, circumstance, hardship, joy, achievement, and failure for the glory of Christ and the advancement of His life changing gospel. Love you all!

Jamie

Rekindling

I don't like when life gets so busy that I let myself forget what's REALLY important. What is life? Why do we let it consist of planning our next meal, shopping, sleeping, driving and entertainment? Life is but a vapor! It's here, then it is gone. Rekindling my purpose... :)

So yes, I have been a busy lady. Our house is now completed! That's a big yay! It really looks beautiful. We are now in the middle of moving from the apartment back into the house with stuff strewn everywhere in between. The plan is for us to complete a couple of extra things on the house then try to sell it. Then we will look for our next fixer-upper project that will hopefully have alot more space! Can I just say my husband is incredible?? He really is! There is no end to what he can do. I don't know anyone as handy as him! So grateful for that gift.

HOME!

Oh and I guess I should mention that we are expecting again! haha :) It's such a normal part of my life now that I forget that some people still haven't heard. We are due in the middle of January. My journey with Hope has made this pregnancy different. I'm not a worrier and that hasn't changed. But I guess you can say I am more realistic this time. This is not considered a high risk pregnancy or should it be any different than any of my other normal pregnancies. It's just now I realize how things can change very quickly. Looking forward to finding out if this baby is a boy (I think it is!) or a girl. Really excited for either one. Taylor and Macy are having so much fun planning for the baby. I like that my kids are old enough this time around to "get it". Taylor hugs the baby (my belly) at least ten times a day and will say "I love our baby" and is quick to add "I love baby Hope too." Almost like he wants to verbalize what we are all thinking... this baby will not replace our sweet baby Hope but will just add to the blessings God has already showered on us.

photos by: leah miranda photography

leahmiranda.com

Rebuilding

I love being outside! So happy for Spring to be here. Treasuring life more this Spring than ever before...

I've had so many opportunities to share Hope's story with people. It never seems to get old talking about God's goodness and His grace. I spoke at a Club 121 meeting at a local middle school and this week will have the honor to speak at a mom's group meeting at my church. I don't like public speaking AT ALL but God allowed me to be a part of something incredible and it did not happen so I could just keep it to myself. Hope was given to me so that I would share her with everyone and I was and still am glad to do that! BUT there are parts of her that are mine alone. Moments that I get to keep in my heart and memories that will never fade. I was the one who carried her in my womb, gave her that first bath, sang to her and I was also the one who held Hope when she breathed her last breath.

Our family is still staying flexible and adjusting to life in an apartment. Our house is being rebuilt and it doesn't look like it will be too much longer until it will be completed. Josh and I are grateful for kids who are easy going and adjust so quickly to new environments. Taylor and Macy have really been enjoying their "rental" bunkbeds. :)

Here are some pictures of the progress on our house-

6 months later

I'm sitting here listening to my hubby play his guitar... some sweet, soothing Shane and Shane song of course...

Thinking about how this is the 13th of Feb. It was this evening six months ago our sweet baby Hope breathed her last. For me, it seems I have lived a whole lifetime since then. God has been so gracious to heal and restore my heart and soul. I remember that night so vividly though. It replays in my mind sometimes like I'm watching from a distance as the emotions unfold and the love from our family and friends is poured over us. I remember word for word what I said, how I felt, I remember how much my insides ached. But even more than that... I remember what awe I felt (and still feel) to be a part of such a story written by God. I can honestly say now, six months later, it was so worth it! To see how God used our Hope to change peoples outlooks, to grow their faith, to build their trust and to see so many people step outside of their comfort zones to reach out to us. IT WAS WORTH IT. God holds our past, our present and thankfully, our future. Josh and I are convinced now more than ever of our calling to be followers of Christ. Jesus, the One True God.

Our story doesn't seem to be ending anytime soon! :) Just when we were getting settled into a pretty normal routine again... our world was once again shaken.

It was Christmas Eve, our family was at a holiday party with friends. We got a phone call that our house had caught fire. God once again was giving us an opportunity to glorify Him in a rough circumstance. With the fire damage and the extensive smoke damage, most everything was lost. How were we to respond? The only way we know how! To look to our Savior and say "Great is the Lord and greatly to be praised!". Just another reminder that we should not hold onto this temporary home too tightly. The Lord gives and takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord. :) We are not devastated. The support we had already received over the past months after Hope passed away just grew in size and surrounded us. We are so grateful for the body of Christ and for caring strangers who continue to bless us.

Our house is being rebuilt. We are hanging out in a comfy apartment until then. Life is becoming quite the adventure and who knows what is in store for us in the future. All we do know is that wherever this life takes us, we are not going alone. His grace is sufficient for ALL our needs!

Psalm 23

The LORD Is My Shepherd

A Psalm of David.

¹The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
²He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.
³He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

⁴Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

One Week Pictures

Hope Isabella Reasons

Taylor and Hope

my three kids

My pretty girls!

love those feet! my favorite.

Weeks

I would have been 39 weeks pregnant today if Hope was still inside me. Hope would have been three weeks old if she was still with us. Instead, it has been one week since she passed away. It's been a long week and I really need to stop counting like this in my head.

I'm pretty tired emotionally but not too tired to continue to praise God. He sustains me and I am so grateful. It was wonderful to be at church again this morning and to worship with the body of Christ.

Thank you to all came to Hope's service. And to all of you who wanted to come but couldn't, thanks for the support. Again, God had His way and the service was perfect. Everything said by our dear pastor friend, John Crawford, seemed like it flowed straight from our hearts. Sweet Sara Osborne shared a beautiful promise found in Lamentations 3:21-24- This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. The Lord's lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. The Lord is my portion, says my soul, therefore I have hope in Him. Our kind friend Derek Dighton put hours into making a priceless video of our time with baby Hope. We have definitely used up all our favors for a long time! :) Our music pastor Bill Shiflett helped Josh and I record a song that we used during the video. The words were exactly what we felt in our hearts. Here are the lyrics: Joy Will Come by John Egan and Mia Fieldes

Joy will come in the morning
Riding on the wings of the dawn
I know
Joy will come after mourning
As surely as You are God

Joy will come believe
Joy will come joy will come

Joy will come like the harvest
Reaping for tears that we sow
I know
Joy will run to the farthest place
Surely as You are God

Joy will come believe
Joy will come joy will come

What is this hope I feel
It's helping
What is this peace beyond
Understanding
You fix the broken heart
There's healing in Your wings

What is this whisper small
I'm hearing
So far above it all
It's speaking
You're still the sovereign Lord
There's healing in Your wings

I am looking forward to things getting back to normal... whatever normal is! I know healing will take time but it helps knowing that God is still using her life to grow people's faith. I love hearing the stories about how God has used Hope's story to help people share with coworkers, neighbors or even unbelieving family members. The glory continues to go to God. :) Right now, one of the hardest parts for me is how quickly things will make me cry. I am so used to being steady, stable and emotionally consistent that it throws me for a loop when something like a onesie in the laundry, a song, silence, pictures or a memory will make me cry.

Josh is doing good. He is so strong and still tenderhearted. We have both sensed a stronger love for each other after going through this. Just another good thing that has come from this hard time! Taylor and Macy are incredible. They have just excepted the fact that Hope isn't here anymore. It's very simple to them. Baby Hope was here and now she's not. They understand she is a part of our family and we love her very much but that she wasn't able to stay with us. Macy talks about Hope on a daily basis still and I love that.

Hope Isabella Reasons from Derek on Vimeo.